I is a graduate!!

So here I am a masters graduate. That is right, Friday night I walked the stage and received my Master of Science in Organizational and Human Resource Development with my family happily watching me. What a wonder feeling of accomplishment. While a student I was also a mom of one, then two, worked full-time, which also included a ton of travel and moved to a different city. Talk about stress! I am now looking for a new job. I love my current job by my hubby feels that now I don't make what I am worth and I have talked to my current boss and there is just no way I can get an increase. Plus I am just plain tired of traveling. But let me tell you, job hunting is HARD work!

Long time no entry...

Today is Logan's 4th birthday :( It is so unbelievable that he is four. Where have the years gone. My baby is so not a baby anymore. This afternoon I have to take him to the dr. for his 4 year check-up. I think he is going to get 4 shots. Poor guy. It stinks because now he knows what shots are.

Cole is doing great too. He is 19 months! Over Thanksgiving he fell and hit his cheek on the coffee table and got a shiner. Last week he hit his forhead on a chair and got a huge bruise. He is definately going to be our stiches and broken bone kid.

This Friday I walk the stage and receive my Master of Science in Organizational and Human Resource Development! It kind of seems like a dream to be done.

I guess it is good I will have some free time because I just got back from my drs, last week was the dreaded yearly with bloodwork and Friday I got a call to come in this morning. I have high cholesteral. OK I will be 28 on Wednesday and my cholesteral is in the mid 200s NOT GOOD! I am now supposed to eat lots of fruits and veggies and fiber and I must workout. Easier said than done! He told me I was overweight and losing some of the pounds would help. Boy hearing someone tell you you are fat sure does make you feel like you have been punched in the stomach.

Why does being healthy have to be soo expensive? Fruits and veggies break our grocery bank and now I need to get a gym membership. GREAT...

I was fuming mad...

Yesterday when I picked up Logan from daycare.

He had the tummy virus Saturday night and into Sunday morning. So when I took him to school yesterday I said no milk today.

When I was buckling him in the car after daycare, he said I didn't have milk today at lunch, I said that is good, did you have water?

L: No I didn't have anything to drink until snack time.

WTH??? You don't give a kid who needs fluids anything to drink!!!

I asked him again, are you sure you didn't have water? He says no mommy and I was really thirsty.

It was too much of a hassle to get everyone unbuckled and back out of the car so I get on my cell phone to the director immediately. I was soooo mad. She said she would look into it.

Oh you should have seen how mad I was!

I PASSED!

My comps that is! I am so excited! Now I just have to go to class this weekend and complete all the work for that.

I am also doing an internship through my supervisor, and I need to finish that project as well so I can walk across the stage on December 15th! I am so excited and so relieved to be so close to the finish line.

I know Travis and the boys are ready for me to be done too!

Speaking of the boys, check out the pics above, I added some Halloween pictures!

Still here

I am still around. Just busy at work. I have been coughing for 3 weeks and now have a horribly stuffy nose. I feel great except for that. STUPID Allergies!

The boys get their flu shots tomorrow. That ought to be fun NOT! Logan is already telling me that he doesn't want a shot.

I need prayers I am considering some job changes after I complete my degree in December and I just ask that you pray for me to use God's guidance during this time.

Doing okay...

Well this eating good change is going well. I refuse to call it a diet. I am changing my eating habits and hope the scale will show this change.

Travis is excited that next week I will be traveling again for work because he is ready to eat fatty foods again! I told him that the whole goal is for both uf us to lose some extra baggage!

Who knows when I lost 40lbs on Weight Watchers, he lost NOTHING! How in the world?!?!

Trying Yet Again...

Yesterday I signed up on Ediets.com. I am tired of looking the mirror and not liking what I see. I am more tired of getting dressed and squeezing myself into my clothes. I REFUSE to by the next size up and I have put my foot down.

I even walked last night. I am just so mad at myself for letting me get fat again. I looked good! I even looked pretty good after giving birth to Cole and now here I am, I have no excuses except laziness and I am putting a stop to that.

CANCER...

Why is there such a word? A disease? And why do people have to suffer with it?

My mother-in-law has cancer. It is breast cancer of the lungs. It is terminal, but she fights it like you wouldn't believe. She had breast cancer in 1997, had a masectomy and this time the cancer came back in her lungs. She was diagnosed in March of 2005. In July she looked horrible, but today she is on an experimental drug that is for colon cancer, but is seems to be working.

My grandfather has cancer. It is prostate cancer. He is doing well. He is too old for chemo so he is on an estrogen drug. He is also developing Parkinsons. This is a man who is still working. No retirement for him. Living keeps him going.

A little girl on the December 2002 Board named Kayla has cancer. It is some god awful long name that I can't even try to spell. This little girl is the same age as Logan and it is heartbreaking. She was diagnosed LAST WEEK. She is going through all the testings right now to determine how far the cancer has spread. Worst of all it is in her lymph nodes. That just frightens me to no end. Cole has swollen lymph nodes! I pray daily for Kayla. I know how hard it was for us to explain to Logan about his hernia surgery. How do you explain to an almost 4 year old all the procedures she is about to endure.

Cancer. Why do people get it and why are the good ones the ones that God always chooses???

Still Swollen.

Cole's lymph nodes are still swollen. Travis took him back to the Dr. on Friday and she said we will just watch them and go back again in a month. I just pray they go down. It would really ease my mind.

Travis has been offered the opportunity to transfer to a different branch. This branch will have considerately more traffic which could yield more pay for him. After much deliberation, I had to remind him that I have started traveling for work and he would have to guarantee that he could make it to the daycare by 6:30pm to pick up the boys. Which as far as I know the new branch manager is aware of, he is tranferring. I believe he starts next Monday. And as of right now his surgery is still on for next Friday.

Fun changes for us. I am still applying here and there but realized that I really need to wait until I graduate because one of my classes this semester in an internship through my current supervisor and I wouldn't get credit for the course if I changed jobs.

Good or Bad...

Well I took Cole to the dr. on Friday, He and Logan both have ear infections, but Cole does not have a hernia like I thought. Although it looks exactly like Logan's did. Cole's is swollen lymph nodes, which still scared the bejeezers out of me. Negative thoughts fill my mind when I hear that. He goes back to the dr on Friday. Then we will go from there I guess.

Unbelievable!!

Well last night while getting Cole dressed for bed, I discovered that he too has a HERNIA! What are the odds. The bad thing is I am pretty sure it is a double and I don't know when I will be able to take time off of work for surgery.

The Fall is a busy season for me, I travel alot for work. Travis is having surgery on the 22nd of this month.

Who would have thought that all my boys would have surgery in the same year. I never did!!!

Three Cheers For the Boys!

Cole is a walker!! His arms are still up in the air like a chimp but they are slowly making it down to his side. He is also trying to talk and blows the best kisses!

Logan is doing much better in school. In fact yesterday I went to pick him up and on the classroom door is always a posters explaining what the class did that day. And on this poster it said. Logan knew everything. It also said, Logan said everyone got stickers. Now this poster is for all the parents to read and it specifically acknowledged my child TWICE!! No other child was mentioned on this poster. I was so proud, I asked if I could take it home and they let me.

What has gotten in to him?????

Logan has decided once again to be an exhibitionist in class. Yesterday Travis had to talk to the director of the daycare about it. She said that if Logan did it again they would have to call us to come get him. He got in trouble a couple of months ago for mooning the class with a couple of the other boys but this time is wasn't just his hynie, he was pulling down all of his pants. I gave him a stern talking to and I hope that was the end of it.

I really can't take time out of work to go and pick him up.

This kiddo is going to be the death of me! The age of three is the worst year yet! Attitudes, pants pulling down, fit throwing, when will it end?

Back to this reality we call life...

Yep my vacation is over!

It was WONDERFUL!!! Travis and I really enjoyed the mountains and the boys had fun with Gimmie and Daddo. We also got a new pet. A shermit crab, I mean hermit crab called Shermie! Logan LOVES the thing and he is HUGE! No kidding when he peaks out of his shell he is the size of my hand!

We also traded in my jeep cherokee for a TAHOE! A 2005 suped up pimp mobile. This thing has everything but the kitchen seat and 4 wheel drive! It has A/C in the back for the boys and a DVD player, can you say heaven?

But now I am back at work, trying to get back on task, such a hard thing to do!

Can't catch a break...

Next week Travis and I are taking our first getaway child free. On Saturday, we will be dropping the kids off at my parents' house which is about a 5 and 1/2 hour drive, then driving upto the mountains which is 4 hours away from my parents house. We were going to make the second leg of the drive on Sunday, but after the conversation below we better just keep driving... Mind you we are also using this time to celebrate our 5th anniversary that will happen in August. Cole has been sick and I called my folks to tell them what the dr. said and my dad says.

When do you guys plan on coming back? I say either Tuesday or Wednesday... He says well we need you back on Tuesday because your mom starts school. Now I realize she has no control over when she has to go back to school. But this is Travis and my ONLY vacation. We had to coordinate our lives for this and now we are told oh you have to cut your trip short because it is inconvienent for us...

So it looks like we will be entertaining the kids on Wednesday- Friday because we are using a vacation credit next week and they can't go to school...

Talk about needing another vacation after the end of the week...

Story of our lives!

New job?

I will be graduating in December with my masters and Travis feels that I will just not be making the amount of money that a person with a masters should make. I have been applying here and there to all sorts of different places. Nothing has happened yet. But I just ask for prayers to guide me in the direction I am supposed to take with my life as a master...

No more babies.

Cole is no longer using a bottle. He was down to only one at night before bed and now he takes a few sips from his sippy and his is out!

He also took a few steps by himself yesterday. He is going to be running in no time!
Where have my babies gone?

Hurray!!!!

I am done with my comps! I emailed them and am putting them in the mail today! What a relief. Now I just have 2 classes in the fall and I will graduate in December!

My little man turned 14 months yesterday. Yikes, he is starting to stand unassisted for a few seconds at a time. He has all but 1 tooth, a canine that should be poking through any day now! Where did my baby go?

Logan is doing great as well. He is super smart but has a 3 year old attitude and talk about whining. YUCK!

I also applied for a new job yesterday. The pay increase would be great for us and I am getting a little burnt out in my field. I have been doing this since January 2001 and I am tired and a little bored!

Another blow...

Yesterday we received a call from Travis' mom. Travis' sister had her first dr. appointment for the pregnancy and the baby had no heartbeat. She is now having to decide what to do and I just pray that the decision she makes will help ease her pain.

I have never been in her situation. Praise the Lord and I pray that she can heal from her loss.

I know Travis' family is also taking it hard, and I pray they can heal as well.

Will this month ever end?

Last night at class, I received my mid term. I have to write yet another 6-8 page paper... This one is due next Tuesday... The prof also explained our final paper which is a 10-15 page Lit review, that I have no clue how to do, so that already puts me behind, plus I have idea what topic I would like to choose. Let's just say I bawled the whole way home from class last night.

I just feel like all I am doing is writing papers. I still have the 2 page papers that are due at every class plus my comps... I have 2 comps down and am half way done with #3. I am just super upset because I have taken some vacation time around when my comps are due, but if I use that, I won't have any to use for Travis and I to go on a mini vacation for our 5 year anniversary.

Last night I was so ready to just quit. I am just tired...and stressed. Please can this month be over!

Bittersweet and a good report!

Travis has an appointment today with is PCP to get a referral to the Urologist for the snip. It is so bittersweet. I know we are done with kids, but I will never have another baby...But that also means no more late nights, spit up, diapers, formula!!! The sweet definately out weighs the bitter!

Logan also has his post op appointment yesterday, he is free to be a 3 and 1/2 year old. Like he wasn't running hog wild already! During the surgery they had also removed a mole from his head (figured while he was under) the pathologist said that is was actually a virus, that could come up somewhere else, but we don't have to get it removed. I found that very interesting. Made me wonder how many of our moles are actually something else...

I am still working away on my comps. When I do get the time, I actually get some of the work done! AMAZING!!! But hey July is so almost here!

What a week...

Well, this has been the Freaky Friday of weeks...

I have been at a conference so Travis was home with the boys, I get a call on Monday and my In Laws dog drowned in their pool. That is how I have lost all my childhood dogs, very common when the dog gets old and blind. In the same phone call Travis tells me that his mother is now a casestudy for the unapproved FDA drug, which means they will continue paying for it and she gets to use it!! That is wonderful for us...

Then on Tuesday Travis calls to tell me his sister is pregnant and due in January. My boys will actually have cousins around their age! I thought they would be in elementary school before they had a cousin...

Then last night I get home from the conference and have to go to class, while at class Travis leaves me a voice mail to say his grandma had died. This is Travis' mom's mom. She had been depressed ever since they packed her and his grandpa up and moved them from Arizona to California because his grandpa's alzheimers was getting really bad. She had just lost her motivation. Last week she was in the hospital for stomach pains. Still no clue what was causing them. She was released over the weekend. Yesterday she started having them again and the in home nurse called the ambulance and she died on the way to the hospital.

I had hoped that all the good news about Travis' mom and sister would help to ease her depression, but I guess it didn't.

Please pray for all of them.

Memorial Day

Was alot of fun for us. It had been a year since I had been to visit my family. We took the boys to the sandhills. Which are huge sand dunes with no water. Only in Texas right? The boys also went swimming at Gimmie and Daddo's. They had a blast. Here are two pictures.

I am also typing away on my comps. One down and 5 to go. I am halfway done with #2. I leave tomorrow at the butt crack of dawn for a conference in D.C. and will be back on Tuesday. I am so excited because tomorrow I am meeting up with a friend that I went to Junior and High school with. I haven't seen her in a few years and I can't wait!

Logan starts swimming lessons on Monday so Gimmie is driving here to stay because Travis doesn't get off work early enough to get him to the lessons. It is a jam packed week next week.

Can you say STRESSED!!!

That is me. I am so ready for the first half of summer to be over. I started my summer class last night that ends on June 29th. The prof hands our syllabus and I almost started crying!

We are required to read for every class, I can handle that, but we are also required to write a 2 page paper for every reading!! Hello, I am super busy writing 6 papers for my comps that are due July 6th. When I am going to find the time to read the chapters, write the papers, do 2 presentations and listen to an internantional radio station. And still be a mom and wife and good employee...

I know God will not give me more than I can handle but I think I am to my breaking point. AAAHHHHHHH...

And to top it all off, the boys were supposed to spend the week with my parents, Travis and I left Monday afternoon and came home. Well Logan started saying he wanted to go home so Mom drove them back last night... Travis and I were actually going to have a date tonight. NOPE... I guess it is good, since I have a million other things I need to do, but it would have been nice to be kid free so I could spend the evenings doing homework.

Also I leave for a conference on Friday and I am not back till Tuesday... Sleep, who has time for that???

HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I have been home with Logan this week due to his surgery. Well let's just say he is back to normal! Keeping him occupied has been hard work!

One way to keep him calm is let him watch a movie. Well he has picked he same one every day this week! It is a movie about tractors and trucks. It has a super annoying host and I am really tired of watching it! But it does keep Logan calm... But I am about to go crazy!

Updates...

Got my comps, just now have to find the time to do them!

Logan’s surgery went great yesterday. It didn’t start until 9:30 and it was supposed to start at 8am. He was starting to get a little grumpy because he was starving. The look of fear in his eyes as they rolled him to the OR was heartbreaking and he told us last night that was the part he didn’t like. He had taken a drug to relax him so he wouldn’t remember but I guess it hadn’t totally kicked in because he remembers. The surgery was very routine and he only had one hernia, they checked the other side as a precaution and it looked great. It took him a while to wake up from the anesthesia and he was being stubborn and didn’t want to drink. Which if anyone has had surgery, if you drink or eat a popsicle and it stays down, you can go. He kept saying I want to go home but wouldn’t drink. Finally we got to go home around 2pm. It was a long day. He slept most of the day. Had times of being uncomfortable, but this morning seemed much better.

I just don't get it...

First of all, still no comps.... Uh HELLO folks I am on a time crunch!

Secondly, Logan is having his surgery on Monday.

I am completely out of sick leave because I never have had time to earn it back after having Cole and every time a kid is sick or has to go to the dr. I use mine.

Travis has plenty. And he was asking me if I would rather him take off Monday or Tuesday.... Ugh hello BOTH!! Monday is the surgery and I would like him there with me and Tuesday Logan will have to stay home to recover and I really can't miss anymore work.

I said can't you do both, I don't know. I said ask!I just really made me want to cry. I mean I am already emotianally drained thinking about Monday, it just really pissed me off!

Getting Frustrated

This week I was suppose to receive my comps by email so I could begin these 6 papers that once writted determine if I will graduate in December. All 6 papers that will be 10-15 pages long must be completed by July 6th. That means I get 6 weeks to do them and guess what they are not here.

This week and next were the only weeks in the 6 weeks where I had free evenings to devote to these papers. I start summer school on May 30th and have a conference the first weekend of June in DC. I am busy and can't change my life for these papers. I just hope I can get them done! That is once I finally receive the topics!

Went to the dr.

I took Logan to the dr. and we left with referrals to both the pediatric surgeon and the pediatric dermatologist.

He does have a hernia so we now have to talk to the surgeon about the options.

He also has a growth on the back of his head that we are going to get checked out by the dermatologist. To me it looks like a mole that is just growing but it is soon going to get in the way of getting his hair cut. Poor baby, only 3 and his is already falling apart!

Mother's Day

Went great! I got a watch and two great cards from my kiddos.

Travis decided to put a handprint on Cole's and it stained Cole's hand green! It was so cute because he says you didn't tell me those inkpads stained!

We had a great day, I took Logan swimming while Cole napped, it was a nice relaxing day!

Changed my blog...

I have created a blog just for the surrogacy journey! Please follow along!

http://myjourney-surrogacy.blogspot.com/

Need some prayers.

In other news I am having to take Logan to the dr today. I think he has a hernia. Please pray for him as the only way to fix this is surgery.

Need some prayers.

I found out through my mom that Travis' mom has had to stop her treatment. She is still on chemo but one of the drugs she was using was for a trial and the trial is up. Right now it is only approved for colon cancer. The FDA has not approved it for other cancers. But MIL and the dr feel that this drug is what has caused her cancer to not grow. So now we just wait. MIL hasn't told Travis yet about this. I will tell him after they leave today. Once the FDA approves of the drug MIL insurance will pay for it, but right now the pill must be taken 3 times a day and each dose is $5,000! Can you believe that! I ask for prayer for her and the FDA to approve it.

A much better Tuesday!

I got registered for my class this morning. There are only 5 spots left, so I did it in the nick of time!

Always Drama...

Well today is the day I am supposed to register to take my one class for grad school, not at the institution I am receiving my degree from. Sounds easy enough, right?

WRONG!!!!!

I am also an employee at this lovely institution and we are in the process of converting to a new data management system and for some wonderful reason, I can't be both and employee and a student.

So here I am needing to register, but don't have access to the student's screens needed to register. There are only 15 spots in the class, and 4 were already taken by 9 am!! I emailed our helpdesk, no response. I emailed the advisor for my department, no response. I even emailed the professor of the class, no response.

My graduating in December relies on the ability of me to take this class... UGH!!!

And the bad mom award goes to....

ME!!!

Yesterday Logan asked for some milk so I grabbed a sippy cup out of the fridge. He drinks it. Then I take the lid off for him to get the very last of it. After the lid comes off he says, this cup smells funny. I said no it doesn't drink it anyway. Well he drank it, then handed me the cup. I then smelled it and it smelled sour. I threw it to Travis to smell because I have a sensitive nose and he doesn't. He says yep smells sour. I made my son drink spoiled milk... How mean is that. Luckily he didn't sick from it.

Then this morning we went to the donut shop. Logan picked out a milk and we got a donut. I get the boys to school and look at the expiration date on the milk 4/2/06. EXPIRED... I opened it and it didn't smell so I let him drink it. But explained to the teacher about the episode last night and today's milk and that he might have a upset tummy today. She just giggled and probably thought what a mean mom I was.

And last buy not least... My baby will be one in a month!!! Where has the time gone?

Moms of boys...

This was an article in today's Dallas newspaper.
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/fea/solutions/stories/DN-nso_carpoolread_0320liv.ART.State.Edition1.9127204.html

All I can say it very true!!

Before I was a Mom...

Before I Was A Mom



Before I was a Mom, I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed. I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

Before I was a Mom I cleaned my house each day. I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom I had never been puked on. Pooped on. Spit on. Chewed on. Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests. Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.

You'd have to be blind...

To not notice that I changed my layout. I still like the old layout and may change it back. I was having some technically difficulties and the Blogger staff took care of them almost immediately and I appreciate that!

Let me know what you think of the new layout? Should I go back to the old one or stick with this one? Either one will include a picture of the boys!

So....

I am not pregnant! I just came back from the dr. and I had an u/s. Nothing! HURRAY!! He checked me for ovarian cysts, I have a few small ones, but nothing to be worried about! Plus I really started today! What a relief!

I updated

The boys' website!
www.logan.aboutmybaby.com

Just when things couldn't get any worse...

This is about my monthly visitor... Just know you have been forwarned!

I was supposed to start on Saturday. NOTHING. So I patiently, ok freaked out while waiting for aunt flo (AF) to start. On Monday still nothing. I took a pregnancy test during work on Monday. It was negetive. I took a test Tuesday morning with strong non-diluted urine, negetive.

At lunch on Tuesday I went to the bathroom. AF. Luckily I had a tampon. Get home, pee, remove tampon, NOTHING. WTH???

Last night I slept in a pad, NOTHING. Wore a tampon today, went to the bathroom at lunch, NOTHING.

What is going on? I am having some little twinges like cramps but nothing major. One of my friends IMs this to me:
Symptoms of Ectopic Pregnancy
symptoms of early pregnancy
spotting after first missed period
cramping after first missed period
pain or pelvic pressure
ultimately, severe uterine bleeding or hemorrhage

I sure hope this isn't it...

I called the dr. and of course his nurse tells me that he is in surgery today. So I have an appointment at 8 am tomorrow to figure out what is going on. Maybe hearing that I am seeing a doctor will just cause AF to make her grand appearance.

Who says you can't go home?

http://music.vidnet.com/player/23065/bon_jovi_who_says_you_cant_go_home_56.php

This song truly hit me today as I drove back to Abilene, the place I called home for almost 10 years. One day after my one year anniversary at my new job in a new city.

Driving through town seemed so surreal. I of course knew the roads by heart, but things looked different. There has been lots of new businesses built and restuarants opened. The crazyiest things was going to visit the folks at my old job.

I went to college and then got a job for the college I graduated with. I worked there for almost 5 years and last year I got a job at another college. Seeing my old coworkers was great. I miss them dearly. I felt like if I wanted to, I could have walked into my old office and pick-up where I left off a year ago. Everyone was kind of as stunned as me when we realized it had been one year since I had left.

Very bittersweet, I knew it was time to move on. We are super happy with our lives now, but I do miss those folks and they will always hold a special place in my heart. They were my family for almost 10 years and they helped to shape me into the person I am today. I will be forever grateful to those folks.

Thank you for your concern...

I just wanted to thank one of my trusty readers for her concerns.

Mom told me that you said I needed to be more discrete in my writing and I appreciate your concerns. However to me this is a place where I can just write the feelings that are going on in my head. Feelings that no one else wants to hear, but might like to read because the same thing is happening with them. I realize feelings might get hurt, but when I write about others, my feelings are hurt at the time and I need to get the anger out!

Also thank you for your concern about surrogacy. Believe me I have done a ton of research. I have been researching surrogacy since 2003. I know it is something I am meant to do. God has it in his plans for me. And I would love for you and everyone to support me and Travis in this decision. Believe it was not made in haste.

I love you Aunt Rynn and always appreciate your love and honesty to me!

This just chaps my hide...

Isn't that a Texas saying or what?!?!

So here's the deal. The in-laws are in town again. Which in itself causes me stress. Who knows why? Maybe it is because the first time they ever came to visit 5 years ago after Travis and I married, MIL decided that my aluminum foil was too cheap and I needed name brand and she proceeded to go buy name brand products for my kitchen. HELLO WHO CARES! Ok I digress.

So they arrive last night, Travis took Logan to the airport to get them. I stayed home and put Cole to bed. They arrive and everyone gets settled in. MIL asks Travis, so are the boys going to daycare tomorrow. Travis says he didn't know. MIL says well Cole can go and Logan can stay. Just for information purposes. Travis has today off, so that means there would have been Travis, MIL and FIL at home, yet she wants to go ahead and send Cole to daycare. Whatever.

I then tell her that I have scheduled Saturday to get Cole's 9 month pictures taken, she then says well can't we get Logan's taken too?!?! Ugh we have 1 million pictures of Logan, not that he isn't cute, but this is a package deal that we have until Cole turns 1. Travis tells her that and she seems upset, she says can't we schedule Logan too. We tell her no.

By this time I am getting really upset and after I put Logan to bed I go to my room and go to bed and just keep fuming. Travis comes to bed and he starts this conversation:

You know how I used to tell you that my mom would get jealous when my grandparents had a favorite and it was my cousin. He says my mom is doing that now with Logan. She doesn't want to have anything to do with Cole and I don't know why. He is such a joy. (I am glad he brings this up because I am still fuming about it) We talk and decide she is crazy and we need to show her how wonderful Cole is too. (I know this is bad but I use this time to talk about surrogacy and how I want to give a dad the same feeling he has for his children, he says he is close.)

So here we are to today. In which I am so upset about. Logan stays home. Travis takes Cole to daycare. Travis gets his oil changed and goes home. They all run to the grocery store to buy lunch. Then MIL decides she needs to go shopping. It is 4:00 and she just walked in the door. What!?!?! She tells us to keep Logan out of school today so she can spend it with him and instead goes shopping. I just don't understand. Does anyone get it? Are there not stores in California? You are here to visit your grandchildren!

Travis just called and I a meeting them for dinner, it is MIL's bday, I ask him if he has picked up Cole, he says yes. And then I ask if MIL has paid Cole any attention yet. And he says no, not yet. It just breaks my heart yet pisses me of sooooo bad!

Where did the time go?

Last night we decided to put the video camera tapes onto VHS. We aren't savy enough to put them on DVD. Baby Steps!

We started with Logan's birth. What an amazing day. Watching it was so emotional for me. It was the day Travis and my life changed forever. We went from being young kids to parents with responsibilities. And I think we have done pretty well.

It seemed so surreal hearing the people on the video call that baby Logan, when preschooler Logan was sitting right next to me. My brain just couldn't comprehend that those were the same people.

Simply amazing!

His next excuse...

He doesn't want me to get fat after baby #3. WHAT! That is so not going to happen. He said it is because I keep complaining about not having lost all the weight from Cole. So let's just say I am nipping that in the bud. I am still 15 less than when I got pregnant with Logan. I am still skinnier than the day I walked down the aisle. Can't say the same for him.

He said it was a vain thought but he didn't want me to end up at 240 pounds and complaining. So I fired back and said I didn't want him to end up at 500. He said I know that is what I am talking about. Seems he gains weight everytime I am pregnant. Which I knew, just hadn't said anything. He looks nothing like the day we were married. He says he is trying but you have to get off the couch and turn off the tv to do that.

But I love the guy, he is a wonderful daddy and husband and my life with out him would be so boring. I just know he is going to come around and see what a wonderful thing my being a surrogate is. How when he looks at the Intended Parents faces when they see their baby in my belly and watch their baby being born and feeling the love for this baby, like he feels for his own children. I just want him to see the big picture and I know he will. Just when?!?!

January Recap...

COLE
Cole got RSV and his first ear infection. Neither were fun. He didn't eat for a whole week and he was so dehydrated his lips were cracked and bleeding. He just laid there like a limp noodle. Luckily I could get him to drink enough not to warrant going to the hospital. Poor baby. He now has 6 teeth, 3 on top and 3 on bottom. We are working on 7 and 8, which are on top. He still isn't crawling but getting really close. He LOVES to talk. He screams, DADADADA, LALALALA, BABABABA all the time. And just smiles the whole time. We finally moved his crib down a notch. He was reaching up and touching his mobile so I knew it was time. He is loving solid foods, at daycare anyways, he won't eat them for me, just bottles. But gobbles down jars at school. Everyone there just loves him. They all call him Baby Cole, because that is what Logan calls him.

LOGAN
Logan is doing great! Yesterday he wore underwear to school and stayed dry all day!!!! And then last night he pooped in the potty. He is in underwear again today, we shall see. I have tried every bribing trick in the book and nothing. He is just going to have to do it on his own. My little independent, strong headed boy. (Wonder where he gets that from?) He is so smart and observant. I just love to watch him. It almost feels like I can see the wheels turning in his brain.

ME
I am good. Just feeling a little overwhelmed with lots of work and school. I am just so tired, when I get home at nights I am so ready for bed. I have an 18 page paper due at the first of March that I haven't started because I am to exhausted at night. But that silly thing isn't going to just write itself!

TRAVIS
Travis is good too. He is really liking his job and starting to get to know his coworkers. Moving was a great thing for all of us. We are in the process of filing our taxes. Thanks to daycare we might make some money!

Only Tuesday...

And I feel like I have been put through the ringer. I am working so hard yet time is creeping by everyday. I have class this weekend and then I leave for Kentucky on Sunday for a conference.

While there I get to meet Mimi, one of good online friends. I am so excited I have 'known' her since 2001 and now I finally get to meet her. I have seen so many pictures of her and her family I feel like I have met her a million times. I am so pumped!

My space...

I am now officially on my space... Who knew what a craze that was... Here is my link:
http://www.myspace.com/adrianne1213

I am not going to blog there. I put a link on that blog to this blog!

But I was informed all the cool people were joining my space so I did. I have gotten the chance to see what alot of people I went to school with are doing now. Very cool!

I Am A Boot Camp Drop Out!

Thanks everyone... NOT... You were supposed to keep me on track... I am a boot camp failure. It is amazing how a sick kid can just knock all your plans to pieces and now I have no desire to start again. My pants are getting tighter everyday... YUCK!

Hurrays all around!

My family is well!!! Everyone is up to their crazy selves. Cole is working on crawling and loving to eat again! Logan is back to his terrible 3 year old self. Little toot!

Sick Babies are NO Fun...

I have been home the last couple of days with a super sick 8 month old.

Cole has RSV. He just feels like poop. He has had a fever, which broke yesterday, and he is on breathing treatments every 4-6 hours. Which too are helping. He also has an ear infection which is a symptom of RSV.

Every day he is feeling better, but I just want him to eat. This boy usually eats 30 ounces of formula daily. But over the course of 6 days he has eaten 30 ounces Poor baby is so dehydrated. He is still at least crying tears, which is the ultimate sign of dehydration. No tears = no fluid.

And to top it all off. Logan has a fever and gross cough now... Luckily for him it will just be a bad cold.

Year in Review

The year of 2005 in review:

January- Had a wonderful New Year's
February- Was offered a job in a new city
March- Had made my hubby quit his job and up and move with me at 30 weeks pg to a tiny duplex for me to start a new job, his grandfather died and I couldn't go to the funeral (which I will regret everyday for not going.) and then his mom was diagnosed with breast cancer of the lungs (FUN MONTH, yeah right)
April- Adjusting to new job, new daycare and new city
May- The arrival of Cole Michael
June- Hubby got a job! And we bought a house!
July- Celebrated 4th of July at the lake and headed back to work after maternity leave
August- Celebrated 4 years of marriage
September- Headed back to school after a semester hiatus
October- My babies spent Halloween without me because I was at a conference
November- Had steak for Thanksgiving!
December- Logan turned 3 and I turned 27! My boys made out like bandits for Christmas, which was spent in California visiting Travis' relatives who are in poor health.

Now here we are in 2006. We ate our greens and black eyed peas and are hoping for a less eventful year!!

What did I do?

So I was all excited about the prospect of having a cleaning lady. She was all set to come last Friday so I could show her around and let her know where the vacuum was and see if we needed to buy a mop. (Yep you read that right, we don't even own a mop!)

I called her on Friday after my dentist appointment (the dental hygentist said she thought I was just there for my 6 month check up, but I actually hadn't had my teeth cleaned since 2001!) Travis and I then had a shopping date so I gave her my cell number and she called and we decided she would come by at 3pm.

Well 3 rolled around, then 3:30, then 4:00, then 4:30... Are you seeing a pattern. She never showed. I called and she never answered her phone. I left a message... NOTHING...

I called again on Sunday because she was supposed to start today. In my message I even said if you have changed your mind and would no longer like to keep my house, please call and let me know so I can make a different arrangement. STILL NOTHING...

So here we are Tuesday, the day my house was going to get a cleaning and when I get home it will still need a cleaning. BLAH!!

I Survived!

Well I guess Christmas turned out as good as it could have. MIL wasn't as bad as expected. Travis and I got to have a date! And we got a ton of compliments on our well behaved boys!

We also got some money too!

In other news we may be adding a new family member to our household. A new dog named Bear. He is a one year old Maltese, who previous owner has had a stroke and can no longer care for him. He is totally house and crate trained and AKC certified. We have told my parent's friends, their son is keeping him right now, that if Brandon (the son) doesn't want to care for him, we want him! Will keep you updated!